


if i get lost and wander (please call out my name)

by LilaacStars



Series: late night ideas [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Time Travel AU, Time Travel Consequences, just an indulgent thing i did for me bc the idea had been in my head for too long, sweet chit chat, the cat always has her back okay?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2019-11-13 03:29:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilaacStars/pseuds/LilaacStars
Summary: Marinette finds herself in a Paris she doesn't recognize.Luckily for her, her partner is always there.Chat Noir warns her about the future, however, knowing something will happen doesn't mean you'll be ready to face it.





	1. the whispered secrets (as i look at the clock)

**Author's Note:**

> three months ago i wrote a part of this thing and tried to make a long fic out of it but i wasn't sure if i would ever finish it so i backed down.  
> yesterday i thought it wouldn't be so bad if i made it a one-shot
> 
> (however i might add a little something to it in the future)

Marinette gasped loudly as she opened her eyes and the bright light of the sun between the clouds welcomed her back after what she thought had been her death.

Lying down in the middle of a Parisian street she heard the screaks from car’s wheels, honks and people whispering around.

She bent her arms and pulled herself up and give one look around where she lied down. This place didn’t look like it did five seconds ago as she was falling from the rooftop.

The echo of Chat’s scream was still ringing on her ears, but he was nowhere to be found, and that was what set up the panic.

Ladybug stood on her feet like a spring and started to look around her, trying to catch a glimpse of black, the shadow of the akuma or something that could erase the bad thoughts that were appearing in her mind.

People around her and the honks of the car started to get louder, instead of trying to help her, a person in a superhero suit that looked obviously lost, they were taking their phones and snapping pictures as they gushed around.

She had to come up with a plan, but the stress and uncertainty of the situation were mashing her brain, letting only fear to take over her.

Trembling and panicking, unusual behavior for her she started to walk backward, trying to stay away from the camera flashes and the shouts. She bumped into a car and almost lose her balance.

Marinette blinked fast and rubbed her eyes. There was something wrong and she didn’t know what, but it was making her freak out.

The high pitched sound of her earrings beeped, making her come back to herself.

That was her cue, she had to leave.

Unsure of where to go, in this strange version of Paris she could not go wrong whichever direction she chose to go. So she took her yoyo, wrapped it around a pipe on the building on her right and fleet out of the middle of the street and found hiding in an alley only a few meters away from where she initially was.

Tikki dropped out of the earrings and swirled around as she usually did but landed in her hands more heavily than ever.

“Tikki are you okay?”

Tikki shook her head and closed her eyes, “Too tiring,”

“I don’t know if I have cookies, I’ll go find some immediately!”  
“No,” The soft voice of her kwami was barely heard, “Sleep.”

Marinette did not ask further. She opened her bag and put her kwami inside it, petting her just before closing it.

Now, it was for her to deal with this alone until Tikki was strong enough to help her.

She walked down the street, hugging herself and repressing the upcoming sobs that made her jaw quiver and shivers go up and down her spine.

There was something so different about this Paris that it made her feel nauseous.

Standing in the edge of the alley, she looked around, deciding what to do next.

The alley was silent in comparison to the city so it was impossible to not notice the sudden sound of footsteps behind her.

Her blood chilled and a knot tied in her throat.

She put her hands in fists and took a deep breath. Whoever it was, she was not going to put an easy fight.

But then, the stranger talked.

“Marinette,” Hearing her name was as terrifying as relieving.

She spun on her heels and followed the man’s voice. When her sight stumbled with him she let out a loud gasp.

He was smiling, his expression was so warm, he stood in front of her with so much calm, and she couldn’t help but smile.

She knew him. That was a familiar face, a loved face.

“Oh!” Marinette choked before continuing the phrase and started crying, throwing herself at the tall man that stood in front of her, wearing black leather and cat ears. His arms were open and ready to catch her and when she was between his arms, she started crying.

The calm she was feeling that had made her let go and lie on his shoulder disappeared when she realized that her feet were not touching the ground.

Marinette backed down a little and studied Chat Noir one more time. Before she had seen him in a blur, the ecstasy had not helped her to see things clearly but now she noticed little details about him that made her doubt about who this really was.

Marinette pushed him away and landed back on the floor. The superhero didn’t complain and stayed right where he was, a soft smile decorating his lips.

“You’re taller,” She said, it was a simple phrase but since she was considering this might not be her partner it was a safe way to start investigating.

“I am,” He nodded, “Welcome to the future, baby-bug.”  
Ah.

Oh.

What? The future?

Stupid akumas, they would be the death of her.

“That explains a few things,”

“My incredibly enhanced dashing looks?” Chat asked, flicking his hair.

She laughed. He was still the same and because of that, she was not about to make his ego grow even more by telling him the truth. Yes, he did look very handsome, there was something extremely attractive about his hair being styled shorter than usual, and all the baby fat around his jaw had disappeared making it look so sharp it might cut something at any given moment.

Marinette got her words ready to go, ready to tease him when she realized something wasn’t right.

Chat was keeping his distance, he never did that. That worried her, this was the future, what could have changed?

The thought appeared so fast, that the question left her lips before she could think it over, “Are we still friends?”

He tilted his head and bit his lip in an adoring way.

“Yes, the best.”

Marinette’s smile could have brightened up the whole city.

“Of course, forever and always,” She said mostly to herself.

But Chat heard and his sight dropped, so did his smile.

“What? I know that face, you might be older but I know what that face means,” She pointed at him, “Tell me.”

“Always so bossy,” He chuckled but it died down quickly, “ _Now_ we’re inseparable but… we weren’t friends for a while,”

“What do you mean?” Marinette felt like the air was escaping her lungs, “How could we not be friends,”

Chat closed the distance between them cautiously, he placed his hands on top of her shoulders and squeezed tenderly.

“Breathe, don’t freak out.” His voice was so smooth and it was the perfect thing to hear when panicking. She closed her eyes and focused on his reassuring words and soft caresses. “C’mon, we’ll talk about this somewhere else, somewhere better.”

Marinette nodded.

She did not need him to tell her to know that he was about to carry her. Wrapping her hands around his neck and standing on the tips of her feet to make him easier for him, she felt at home while being years away from it.

**xx**

The sun was setting down which made a thousand of shadows appear on the roof, creating a path that Chat Noir followed.

From above, Marinette could still recognize almost all of Paris, as different as it was but it was hard to tell exactly where they were going, the only thing she was sure was that they were arriving at a more residential part of Paris.  

“We’re here,” Chat announced as they landed on a small balcony and put her down.

He walked to the window and opened it with his claws, “C’mon Nette,”

At the sound of the nickname, the penny dropped.

“You know who I am,”

Her partner laughed, “Of course, dummy. Did you just realized that now?”

“Yes,” She pouted.

He kept laughing and ruffled her hair. “You’re adorable. I’m sorry, I know it must be shocking. I know that you still don’t know and don’t worry I won’t tell you either. You’ll get to experience that with younger-me.”  
“Okay,” Marinette did not ask for more, the reveal of their identities was not bothering her. Him telling her that there was a period of time where they weren’t friends was.

She followed him inside the room, her hand on his as he guided her to the center of the room and turned on the lights.

Marinette looked around. The room was tidy and smelled like lavender, but it missed cozy and personal details, it was like the room had been wiped clean just a few hours before because she could see the marks on the walls where frames should be.

“Where are we?”

“My house, more exactly, my room.”

“Did you do something to it?”

“Always so clever,” He smiled as he walked to the nightstand next to the window and put his watch on top of it, “You’re in the future so I wanted to make the space as neutral as it can be so you don’t get… uh, _spoilers_?”

Marinette giggled.

“Good idea. Let’s keep the timeline as it is.”

“Yeah,” He nodded.

“So, if it doesn’t mess up the timeline too much, would you tell me about us? Like you said we weren’t friends for a while and I would like to know.”

“You are not going to let that go, uh?”

“Nop,” The ‘p’ popped in a funny way that made Chat laugh.

“I suppose I already spilled, so a few stories won’t hurt. I’ll try to leave the most important details out so we don’t break the course of time or anything,”

“Fair,”

“Sit down,” He tapped on the bed and she did as he said.

“We are friends now, as I said before, but after…. uh...  after we revealed each other’s identities, we lost contact,” It was a strange thing to hear him go straight to the point, but he was older, he had matured. “It was like we had never been friends.”

“Oh.” That didn’t sound good, not at all. Had they hated each other behind the mask? Had he been disappointed in her? Had _she_ been disappointed in _him_? “Why?”

“We both had lots of things to figure out, me more than you but… we gave each other time and then suddenly, we weren’t talking,” He sighed, “That went for a very long time. I can’t explain why we did it, we just did. We moved on and never tried to look for the other, we never casually ran into each other and sometimes I would hear about you but I did my best to ignore it because it hurt too much. You did the same, or so you told me.

“My life was a mess but I was trying my best to fix it and at some point, I got married. I was young and living life recklessly. I was in a bad place, and I met this girl. She was gorgeous, funny and she made me feel good -and all the things a good therapist would have given me- and because of that I married her, however, it ended as well as you can imagine, one year and four months later I filed for divorce.”

Marinette did not know what to say, he was throwing a huge amount of heavy information at her that she was barely processing, so she only said the obvious thing she thought she should say.  

“I’m sorry,”

Surprisingly, he laughed, “I’m not. Divorcing her was the greatest thing that happened to me. She was a gold digger and a pathological liar. Hear me out, little lady, you know that they said that if something looks way too good it probably isn’t? Well, she was unbelievably too good but I was an idiot.”

“I’ll keep it in mind,”

“After that, this cat finally got himself into therapy! Life got brighter again and I started talking to all the people I had cut out of my life, I got into university, I got a part-time job and picked up on most of my hobbies,

Marinette smiled.

“And then…” He made a dramatic pause. She couldn’t help but roll her eyes when he clapped on his kneecaps like a drum.

“And then I searched for you.” Chat finally said, a sparkle on his eyes as he looked at her, “I got the address of where you were working. I put on my best black clothes, messed up my hair a little and bought flowers, _roses_. All just in case you forgot my face or just if you saw me walking down the hallway and wanted to run and hide.

“That’s considered,” She squeezed his hand,  “But I didn't run, did I?

“You did not. I don’t think you really thought I was there until I reached the middle of the office. But then when you were finally convinced, you met me halfway down the corridor, looked at me with those same gleaming eyes and threw yourself at me so I could catch you in a hug. It was quite a show, your colleagues don’t let you forget it.”

Chat pressed his hand against her cheek, ran his thumb across it and cleaned up the tears that were falling.

“I’m sorry, I just… can’t imagine my life without you and hearing that we weren’t friends and that you were going through a dark time makes me really sad.”

“It’s okay, we found our way back, we did have some rough patches as we tried to be friends again, but we are as tight as we were before, maybe even more. I’m happy, you’re happy. We’re the happiest.”

Marinette cried louder, “These are tears of joy, I promise.”

“I know, I can tell,” Chat said mid-laugh and caught her in a hug.

“So,” She sobbed, gaining back some control she cleaned her tears, “For what I gather, we do not fight together anymore… did you still run around rooftops and all? I find hard to believe we didn’t collide into each other’s lives for ‘so long’”

“We gave the miraculous and our kwamis back,” Chat said, looking at the floor, “We visit them every now and then--

“But you’re transformed,” She interrupted.

“Special occasion.

“I saw you running on the rooftops and since I was having lunch with ‘future-you’, she remembered this happening and we decided that the best solution was to ask permission to use Plagg and the ring again and keep you safe until past-me can figure this thing out.”  
Tears reappeared on her eyes. She did not like the idea of leaving Tikki away from her, the kwami was part of her now.

Chat looked at the clock on the wall.

“I think we still have some time, it took me a few hours to figure out how to use the lucky charm you left behind.”

“Tell me more then.”

“Of me?”

“Yes, I want to know. You look so serene, it warms my heart,”

“What can I tell you?” He tapped his bottom lip with his finger, “I work on social services,”  
“Really? What do you do?”  
“I’m a psychologist. I treat kids that lived in negligent or abusive situations.” The way he said it made her believe there was a big story behind it, but she rather not ask. It seemed personal, and she was sure she would know about it later in life.

“That’s amazing Chat,”

“Yeah, you think so,” He grinned. “Well, since I told you about my failed marriage, I want to make sure that you know that I did not give up on love because only three years later I married the love of my life.

Marinette’s eyes grew wide open

“That’s amazing. How did you meet her? Blind date? A friend of a friend? How did it all work out? Oh my, do I like her?”

He chuckled. “Yeah, you like her.”

“Good,”

“I already knew her. She was… I met her at school,” Chat said, a goofy smile on his lips. “Actually, she was the person I should have married from the very beginning. I did a detour but she always was _the one_.”

“That’s so sweet.” Marinette elbowed him softly, “Even when you were in love with me?”

They laughed.  

“Yes. I loved her even when I pretended not to.”

“What about her?”

“As if she loved me back then too?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, _she did,_ she is clever than I am and realized we were meant to be before I did.” Chat threw his head back, “She waited for me. I never understood why. I didn’t deserve it…. I… I but I think I know _now_ why she waited and I owe her my life because, without her, I’m nothing.”

“I'm sure that’s not true.”

“It is. We complement, encourage and love each other. I don’t want to live in a world where she doesn’t exist.”

“I'm so glad to hear you’re happy.”

“We are.”

“For how long have you been married?”

“Five years.”

“Amazing!  What is she like? How is like living with her?”

“Great, amazing, the best thing in the world.” He said, “Those answer both questions.”

“Cool,”

“But I can add to the living question. It has not been _only_ the two of us for a year and a half.”

“Only? What do you mean? Who else liv-- Oh god, you have a child?”

“A little girl,” He nodded, “And, we are expecting another girl. My wife is at the beginning of the second trimester.”

“Oh my, congratulations! But isn’t it a bit quick?”

“We want to have them young, my wife has all this plan in like an excel board,” “I told her to slow down that she should focus on her career, and you know what she said?”

“What?

“That she could multi-task,”

“Okay, I really, really like her.”

“I would be surprised if you didn’t.”

Chat stood up and walked and sat at the other side of the bed, close to the backrest. He opened the drawer of the nightstand and started to make some noise as he moved objects inside of it.

Marinette looked at him stranged, “What are you looking for?”

“Something for you before you leave,”

“Am I leaving?”  
“I’ll give it a minute or two,”

“You shouldn’t give me anything, we don’t want to break the timeline, remember?”

“Oh, a piece of chocolate won’t hurt no one,” He said, showing the pink bar of chocolate.

Marinette crooked a brow, “I’ve never seen that chocolate before.”  
“Becuase it hasn’t been created yet. I’ll give it two years. But, take my word for it, you’ll love it,” Chat sat down beside her again and lent her the candy bar. “You love this chocolate brand so much that I usually carry one with me to give it to you if you have a craving.”  
“Oh, that’s so sweet of you.”

“Only the best for my lady, baby-bug.” He pocked her cheek, “Open this one with me on May twenty-three. We’ll both need it.”

“Something bad happens?”  
“That’s for you to live through, princess.” He said and smiled but it did not reach his eyes, “Also, give Tikki this and transform. You don’t want the world to know who you are.” Chat gave her one toffee candy.

Marinette nodded, took the candy and opened the bag, taking Tikki out of it.

“Tikki,” She whispered and poke her tiny belly.

The kwami opened her eyes and fluttered her eyelashes for a second.

“I have food.”

“I’m sorry it is not cookies. My daughter really is out there putting a fight to win your title of most-cookies-eaten-in-an-hour,”

Tikki giggled softly, and Marinette felt her heart warm up.

The kwami accepted the candy and swallowed it quickly, way too quickly for a toffee candy, but the switch of the atmosphere was palpable. There was not much time left.

When Tikki felt ready, Marinette transformed.

Chat Noir took her gloved hand on his and admired it.

“I’ve not seen you in spots for so long, I really forgot how adorable you were,”

Their eyes connected, it was a bond full of nostalgia that she felt it didn’t belong to her.

The moment was interrupted before she could figure out what the radiating feeling coming from Chat was. A blue sphere opened in the middle of the room and like a tornado started to try to suck everything in.

“It’s time,” They said at the unison.

Marinette hugged him.

“Thank you, minou. It wasn’t as strange as it could have been and it is all thanks to you.”  
“No problem. You always can count on me.” He kissed her cheek. “No matter how ridiculous something can be, I’m always there for you.”

“I know.”  
“And because of that, follow my advice and tell Alya to buy the blue dress, not the red one.”  
“What?”  
“Just do it, okay?”  
“Okay?”

“And, bug,”  
“Yeah?

“Just remember. I never stopped loving you, not for a second. Even when I was an idiot, you were always in my heart,”

“Alright. I’m sure I always loved you too.” She said tenderly.

“And most important: It was not your fault.”

“What wasn’t?

“It never was, it never will. This is on him and only him.”

He hugged her

“You’ll have to be more specif--

**xx**

Marinette felt her heart stop and restart in less than a second.

Her eyes were open and the sky was blue but there were black and white spots all over and she could not see clearly where she was.

But she could feel it. Strong arms wrapped around her and the thickness of magic leather rubbed against her cheek. And if that didn’t give it away, he talked to confirm it.

“Oh mon dieu, you’re alive, you’re alive! I thought I’d lost you!”

He squeezed her so tight that she felt like she couldn’t breathe but as uncomfortable as it was, she felt joyful.

“Oh, kitty,” She whispered in his ear, hugging him back and leaving a trail of kisses on his cheek.

It was so good to see him again.

After listening to his older self tell her all about them, she would make sure to appreciate moments like this more.

“I was so scared,” He whimpered.

“It is okay, I’m okay.” She brushed pieces of his hair as she nuzzled her nose against his neck, “You made sure of that.”

“What?” Chat backed down a little. He cupped her cheek and rubbed his finger on her cheek. “It took me forever to figure out how to use your lucky charm. You _can_ be mad.”

“It wasn’t so long for me,” Marinette assured him.

“But--

She put one finger on top of her mouth, “Shut up. I’m back and fine. And you know what?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

His eyes grew so big she was sure they were about to pop out of their sockets. Then a goofy smile appeared on his lips.

“I love you too. Forever and always.”

Marinette’s lips quivered. The use of the words made her talk with future-Chat echo in her head.

At some point, an upcoming point, in the future they would not be friends, they would not be around each other, they would not even get a glimpse of the other, and that was going to hurt. She had been warned and still couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

The possibility of telling him was right there at an arm’s reach and as much as she wanted to spill all, his older self had trusted her, and he looked so extremely happy that she could not mess up and ruin his life.

Marinette had never seen him glow like the few hours she was in the future. Maybe they would hurt, they would be apart, but they were going to find their way back to each other, and she would look forward to that when it happened.

Also, the phrase made her remember what he last said: he never stopped loving her.

So, instead of giving him a warning she pressed one long kiss on his cheek and whispered.

“I know.”

“Good,” He said, smiling even brighter than before, “Hey, what’s that in your hand?”

Marinette looked down and saw the chocolate bar. She laughed.

“I’ll tell you about it later.”

 


	2. my heart is overwhelmed (it's sad)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> me: this is a one-shot, maybe and only maybe i'll post something else but don't count on it.  
> me four days alter: oh well, here we go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i had the idea and yall seemed to like it a lot, so here it is c:

Her partner could have been more specific. 

He  _ should _ have been more specific. What was the point of telling her something without any details? 

She knew there was a timeline to take care of, but future-Chat told her a date, why not tell her the year? 

It took three years for  _ the _ May twenty-three Chat spoke about to come and when it did Marinette had not been ready as she thought she would be. 

Because she had stopped believing this was the timeline he had described. Why would he give advice on a date that was so far away?

Until the day finally came and her world crumbled down like a building succumbing to a tsunami wave. 

The fight against their enemy had been restless, dangerous and overall the most exhausting -both mentally and physically- battle they had ever fought. As always, they were triumphant, but they didn’t feel like winners. 

All Paris was on the streets celebrating, cheering and drinking to them, they were happy it was finally over and they had the right to be, but the mood didn’t reach the superheroes. 

They always knew this day was going to come and now that they were facing it, they didn’t know what to do with it.

Everyone was looking for them, but they had disappeared as soon as they gave the defeated villain to the police, and now they were hiding in the towers of Notre Dame.

It had been a horrible day, peace and quiet was the only thing they needed right now. And of course, a place to heal their wounds. 

Chat Noir had already cleaned all the scratches on her face. She was rocking some Hello Kitty and Disney’s Princess band-aids on her forehead, under her left eye, chin and jaw. The teenage heroine had kept quiet about the pain on her leg because if she said it, Chat would make it their priority and it wasn’t, he was. 

Chat Noir had always been her shield, she never liked to call him that but it was a fact. However, today he had exceeded his limit, he had been too protective and their enemy had been reckless. Chat had not been a shield today, he had been a punching bag. 

Marinette dealt with the scratches and bruises on his face first, then the injuries on his chest, and right now she was cleaning the biggest and bloodiest one. A wound on his shoulder caused by the hit of Papillon’s cane.

She was patting around the edges with a clean piece of clothing she brought from home, the other she brought lied on the floor covered in blood. She was rubbing alcohol, occasionally touching on the open skin but Chat was barely flinching, he didn’t express anything but sadness. His eyes had pure disappointment and pain and, as much as she understood and wanted to share how much she was hurting too, she was trying to keep it together. Forcing herself to forget who was under the mask of the villain that had terrorized Paris for four years. The face of the man that was behind a cell and that would give another disappointment to the son that loved him so much. 

Marinette didn’t know what she was going to do when the time to face Adrien arrived. For that, she focused on her task and on her partner, it was the only way she was going to get through this. 

“I already cleaned it,” She whispered close to his ear. “I need to start stitching,”

Chat Noir nodded, his sight still lost somewhere she could not see. 

“I brought something to make it better,” 

He shrugged and turned his side to her. 

Marinette moved objects around on the bag she brought and took the bar of chocolate. The envelope said it was still eatable but since it had been made on the future she had tried a piece first. It had been heaven and now she understood why future-Chat gave it to her. 

Breaking the bar in little pieces she took one between her fingers and looked at him with a question in her eyes. Chat nodded and opened his mouth to receive the piece of chocolate. 

When he bit he saw the quiver of a smile on his face. 

“Good?”

“Yes.” He said eating the rest in one bite. “Thank you, my lady.”

“Take another as I start stitching.”

“Uh… bug… wouldn’t it be easier if I… if I de-transform? I can feel you fighting with the suit to stay out of it.”

“Yes, it would be but… there’s no reason to keep the masks on now, but I don’t want to overwhelm us after, well, after all, that happened today. And I need my mind clear if I want to patch you up.”   
“You don’t have to see my face immediately. I’ll give you my back.”

“Are you okay with it?”   
“Yes.”

“Then I’ll de-transform too,” 

“Together?”

“Together.” 

They held hands, Marinette pressed her forehead against the back of his neck and together, they let go. A spark of light involved them and once it disappeared, they were normal teenagers once again. 

“Your hands are rough,” He said, breaking the silence. 

“Gee, thanks.”

He giggled, “It’s not bad, it just… it tells me so much about you.”

“You know almost everything that anyone could know about me and you still get excited on these little details.”

“Because I love you.”

“I know, and I understand because I love you too.”

“No matter what?

“No matter what.” She nodded and gave another stitch, pulling the thread and smiling when the edges of his skin pressed together. Sewing clothes were different than making stitches on human skin, but the skill did help a lot. 

The wound was large but she was fast and Chat behave well so she was able to make the progress quicker. 

“Bug,” 

“Kitty,”

“Are you done?” 

“Hold on a few more seconds,” Marinette put the needle down and cut the exceeding thread with a pair of tiny scissors.

“I just… really need a hug.”   
“Let me put the dressing over it and you’ll get as many hugs as you want,” She said and kissed on top of the wound, close to the curve of his neck.  

She was careful when she put the bandage, they didn’t have any medicine to do this easier for him so it was all in her to make it less painful.

“It’s done,” She informed and gave him a hug from his back.

Chat’s quivers began softly and then they were strong and heavy when the sobs came. 

“Don’t cry. We’re okay, we have each other and--

“I’m not okay,” He interrupted, voice trembling, “Everything is ruined.”

“Don’t say that,” Marinette nuzzled her nose against the curve of his neck, “Anything that is bothering you, I’ll help you out with it.”

“But you can’t, Ladybug.”

He pushed her away and turned around, making her see his face for the first time.

But, it was not really the first time. 

She knew him, too well. 

“Adrien.” A thousand if not a million times she had said his name and it had never sounded as painful as that time. 

“Everything is ruined, Nette.” 

“No…” She gasped and cupped his cheek. He refused to the touch but she knew it was not because of her because it was too little, it was too soft. Adrien needed all of her so he would not break.

His hands wrapped around her waist and he crashed into her, head on the crook of her neck, his whole body trembling under her arms. 

Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held him tight, and ran her hands through his hair. 

“Oh, minou.” She sniffed, “I’m so, so sorry. This should have never happened to you.”   
“He fooled us. It was so obvious it was him and he still fooled us.” Adrien murmured, “I lived under his room the whole time and never suspected.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“I could have prevented it, we could have stopped him sooner, we.. if I…”

“Don’t blame yourself, this is not your fault. If it is someone’s fault, it is his. Your fa-- Gabriel chose this, it was his decision to start to terrorize Paris. He is the villain, he is at fault.”

“I should have known.” Adrien took in a sharp breathe, “What am I going to do now? Where am I going to live? Where am I going to go? Everyone knows I’m his son, what if they think I had something to do with it? What if they take me away? What if they send me to prison too and--

“Hey, hey, slow down.” Marinette put her hand down his chin and lifted it to her.

“I love you.” She brushed the bangs out of his face, “I’m here for you. I’ll help you go through it. We can do this together, I’ll have your back. You’re not going anywhere, they’re not going to take you to prison. You’re Chat Noir, you’re a hero and your one, if not the best person I know. You’ll get through this, and I’ll be here for you. We’re a team, right? We can do this.”

Adrien caught her hand on his and straightened his posture, ducking his head towards her so their foreheads would press together.

“We can do this.” 

 

**xx**

As much as she loved and trusted her parents, Marinette decided to keep Adrien’s presence a secret and her partner had been happy with that. He did not want to meet faces full of pity, even if the feeling came mixed with truthful adoration and concern. 

After changing Adrien’s bandages and him obligating her to put one on her leg, they got ready for bed and lied tangled in each other to get their well-deserved sleep. 

Their restless minds didn’t let them close an eye. 

“We’ll have to go to the trial,” Adrien said.

“Don’t think about that now.”

“How do I do that? I’ll have to face him, I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t know if I can look him in the eye and tell everyone that he is guilty.”

“You’re stronger than you think, and you would never put your feelings before what’s right to do.”

“I’ve done it before, Marinette.”

“You were younger, but you’ve learned. I trust you. And I’ll be there with you.”

“You’ll be,” He nodded. 

The tips of his fingers stroked her hair away and ran down her cheek, stopping on the curve of her lips.

Marinette gulped loudly and her body finally reacted to what was going on, looking for Adrien’s warm to get closer, tilting her head to the side so their noses would rub against the other. 

“I could have not wished for a better person to be my beloved partner, Marinette. I only wish the circumstances were different.” He whispered. 

“Me too,” Her lips softly brushed against his cheek, too close to his lips to be innocent. 

The kiss should not have happened, they were aware of it, but it did and once their lips connected it was impossible to stop the bottled feeling that finally had found their way out.

Hands traveled down curves, lips marked skin and gasps and moans clashed together to make harmonious sounds for them to record and play on grey days. 

He stayed with her that night, drinking of her and getting lost in a world that only existed when they were together.

The next night was the same, so was the following week and that way, the routine repeated for three months straight. The young broken lovers found solace in the company of the other.  

But what could have been a dream or the beginning of the most wonderful and beautiful relationship, became their downfall. 

It was like Adrien found comfort on her hugs, her kisses, her love. But he was not keeping it in, he would take and take, and push and pull, but he would not keep it inside of him, all the happiness and the calm will leak, no matter how much of it he drained out of Marinette. 

There was no moment that they were not together, however it was as civilians or as they superhero personas, inside of her room or in a courtroom, they never left each other’s sides.

Marinette wanted it that way, she was not going to leave him alone, she was not going to let him feel he didn’t have anyone taking care of him. 

However, Adrien had other plans that changed everything.

Once again, future-Chat’s warnings had not been enough to prepare her to the raging storm.

When Adrien left it hurt but it didn’t destroy her, they still talked and send messages. 

When Adrien cut all communication she unraveled. 

 

**xx**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you know me already, you know i like my grams of angst u.u  
> hope you enjoyed!  
> as i have it planned it now, this should be around 5 chapters !
> 
> and if you liked this, you may as well enjoy this other angsty fic i have jaja : https://archiveofourown.org/works/18078842/chapters/42731147
> 
> find me on tumblr: buginettez .


	3. i don’t know when (or what time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> marinette spends years apart of her partner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a long one wow.

**ONE YEAR APART.**  

It took one year, twenty-seven days and one night for Marinette to stop crying herself to sleep.

It would have been nice to say it had been all on her own, that she was as strong and independent as she liked to think she was, but it had not been possible without going to see a therapist. She was aware this was not shameful, that actually brave and strong people acknowledge their problems and did something about it, asked for help. Nonetheless, it still stung.

There had been so much to unpack, and the baggage was still a heavy weight on her shoulders, but it started to become bearable.

During three years the only one, she had had who could have understood and she could have talked discusses the entirety of her problems was Adrien. Now she had someone who she trusted and didn’t judge her, someone who guided her thoughts and took them away from the dark, but that didn’t stop her from missing him.

It made her functional, it made her smile and be social again, but it didn’t erase him from her life.

Sometimes she wished it did, then it would not hurt. Only magic could accomplish that.

Adrien had not disappeared completely, he was still on ads, he would still appear on TV and Marinette would be aware of his shenanigans every single day because French media was absolutely and madly obsessed with Adrien Agreste. He didn’t do much, more than give long walks on the side of the Sein, go to photoshoots and occasionally go out with Kagami, but the journalists turned every little detail into a big story.

Trying to convince herself that not everything that was on the news was true became harder every day that passed. It was the only information he had of him, the only way to keep an eye on how he was handling his life and his emotions.

Kagami had not been of help when she called. It wasn’t surprising that she was keeping her loyalty to Adrien, but she could have been kinder, instead, the world champion made it very clear that he rather be left alone.

Nino had been given the same answer, he was unhappy with it but he didn’t push as Marinette did. Nino was doing his best to understand his friend position, to give him space and let him come back when the time was right, but Marinette was losing her mind. She needed him.

All her world had changed from night to morning and she needed someone to share that with, he was the only choice and he wasn’t here.

Therapy would never fix that, it made it better, but it would never help her heal completely.

  


**TWO YEARS APART.**

Marinette thought she was doing pretty fine.

The last time she cried when she saw Adrien in the news had been seven months ago, and her nightmares were starting to fade away.

Marinette really thought she was doing progress until that day.

Adrien ignored her in the metro station and all the bridges she was building crumbled down, drowning in rivers, pushing waves that destroyed armors and coping mechanisms.  

He had been alone, wearing blue from head to toe, reading a book and with sunglasses on. If he wanted to pass unnoticed, he was failing.

Marinette called his name. He didn’t react, he didn’t look her way, he did nothing.

The train arrived in front of them.

Adrien closed his book he walked inside the train and sat next to the window.

Marinette stood in the station watching him go.

Maybe he wasn’t ready yet.

Maybe _she_ wasn’t ready yet.

She was still coming to terms with that.

Missing someone was difficult and exhausting. On a daily basis, she wished she could snap her fingers and make time speed forward. But it was impossible, she didn’t even have magic anymore.

The closest thing she had to peace of mind, was visiting Tikki and the kwamis, and take special care of Plagg who felt betrayed by his chosen.

The bond between them grew strong, that’s what it happens when you miss the same person.

When you feel the same pain.

 

**THREE YEARS APART.**

 

It was both torture and relief to remember her trip to the future and all that the Adrien she met there had said.

The memories were foggy but she did have in mind the things he had warned her about, and little details she had considered important to keep. Nonetheless, Marinette wasn’t thinking about it all the time, by doing so she would take a thousand steps back. Healing was what mattered, not trying to pinpoint the exact moment they would meet again.

But every once in a while, something happened that triggered her and took her back to that time-travel, but the more she analyzed the situations never win against the high level of doubt Marinette felt every time she realized that she could use future-Chat’s advice. It had been a constant of planning and regretting at the last minute, until a few months ago Alya had run to her apartment asking for help to choose a dress.

What had seemed so insignificant when she was in the future, what had seemed like a stupid thing to remark had become a turning instance in her best friend’s life.

Alya got her dream job and it was all thanks to Chat’s advice. Well, Future-Chat, future- _Adrien’s_ advice.

One of the news anchors on the city was looking for a journalist to take over an in-depth documentary about the heroes of Paris, their nemesis and the last battle. It had called the attention of millions, and it had obviously not gone under Alya’s radar.

Alya was confident in her skills, in her background and her ability to get the job, however, when it came to fashion she wasn’t so sure, and that’s why she went to Marinette’s.

Alya took two dress options with her, one red, the other blue.

At first glance, Marinette had loved the red one, it had a wonderful shape, the color was gorgeous and it matched Ladybug’s suit, it was actually perfect. But before she could speak, Adrien’s voice rang on her mind.

_And because of that, follow my advice and tell Alya to buy the blue dress, not the red one._

The blue wasn’t as pretty, it was simpler, more business-like but it wasn’t ugly, it would look great on Alya’s figure. It just wasn’t what she would have chosen if Chat hadn’t said anything about it, but he had, and there _had_ to be a reason.

“The blue one,” Marinette said, her voice trembled and gave away her doubt.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

And thanks heavens she had not changed her mind and decided to go through with Adrien’s advice because when Alya went to the interview, she was the only one wearing blue. All the other contestants had chosen red, even the male journalists. It made Alya pop in the crowd, it made her look professional instead than just-a-fan.

It won her the job.

In this timeline at least, if Adrien knew the red dress wasn’t the right option, it meant that Alya didn’t have the job in the timeline she visited.

As happy as she was for Alya getting the job of her dreams, she couldn’t help but wonder if it had been the right decision. What if she had changed the timeline?

It was great for Alya, but what did it mean for her?

Seating on a coffee shop, looking at the street through the window as she waited for Alya did not put her at ease, it only made the thought get louder.

“Hey!” A pair of hands clapped on her shoulders and Alya’s head popped up on the corner of her eye.

Marinette jumped on her place, dripping a bit of coffee on the table.

“I’m sorry,” Alya laughed, “You were really lost in your thoughts, uh?”

“Yeah,” Marinette said, cleaning her hand with a napkin and moving her phone and bag so Alya could seat in front of her. “Good day? You’re bubblier than usual.”

“It must be the stress because it wasn’t a great day at all.”

“Why?” She asked concerned.

“Well, you know I tried to contact Ladybug and she said she would help but she didn’t want any exposure? Like she was fine with giving a few details and tell me a few things, but she didn't’ want new images or interviews in the documentary.”

Alya did not need to explain, but she didn’t know that. Marinette had kept her identity a secret to everyone but Adrien. Tikki’s request.

“I remember,” Marinette nodded.

“So, I had Ladybug, I needed Chat Noir.”

Marinette huffed. She could see why she had a bad day.

Adrien had made Chat Noir completely disappear off the map. No one knew where the hero had gone.

“A difficult task,” Marinette simply said, not wanting to dig into the subject.

“Yeah, so I wasn’t going to come up with a mediocre plan. I spent days planning a way to find him, and you know what? It worked!”

Marinette chose the wrong time to take a sip of her coffee. She choked when Alya said that.

“What do you mean you found him?” Marinette asked concerned.

“I set him a trap, so he could get the invitation,” Alya shrugged, “I succeeded in that but I still got nothing. His answer was the worst thing.”

“He answered?” Adrien really took the time to answer to Alya? As Chat Noir? She couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah, he sent me a letter,”

“He did?”

“Yes. Quite disappointing. I knew I should have introduced myself but I didn’t want to throw my name on it, just in case he recognized and people thought I was getting preference because of the Ladyblog.”

“Alright,” Marinette said, not really caring what she said, she had barely heard really. “Where’s the message?”

Alya put her bag on top of the table and took a letter out of the side pocket.  
“Here, this  is-- “ Marinette leaned on the table and grabbed the note out of Alya’s hands

“Ouch?”

No apologies or explanations for her behavior. The only thing on her mind was that letter.

When she opened it and saw his pointy handwriting her heart stopped.

 

_I’m dearly sorry, Miss Reporter (would have been nice to have a name, but I know that all you people care about is the news and getting a scoop and that makes your manners disappear)_

_I don’t want anything to do with Papillon, the miraculous or Ladybug. And I also don't want anything to do with you or any news venue._

_It’s over, get it inside your brain._

_I would appreciate if you don’t try to contact me again, those tactics you put out of your sleeve were rather tacky and annoying._

_Please spread the word around your fellow reporter friends._

_If you dare to lie about what I really said or use it to your benefit, I’ll make sure you learn your lesson._

_CN._

 

“I’m pretty sure that’s the same face I had when I read this,” Alya said, poking her cheek, “He is so mean. I can’t believe he doesn’t want anything to do with Ladybug. What do you think happened?”

“I don’t know,” Marinette’s voice was half sob half hiss.

_I never stopped loving you_

_We found our way back to each other._

Bullshit. How could he lie through his teeth like that? Why would he hurt her like this?!

He hadn’t been wrong about the date, or Alya’s dress and things were happening exactly as he said but, what if he had softened the fall? What if they never really became friends again?

He didn’t want anything to do with her. He could have avoided her, be general and only talk about the miraculous or the battle, Papillon would have made sense but her? That was ridiculous.

Maybe the timeline had changed, maybe the course of events was different.

Adrien, _present_ Adrien, _her_ Adrien didn’t want anything to do with her.

Perhaps it was time for her to do the same.

  


**FOUR YEARS APART.**

 

Marinette sat with Alya on a stool facing the window of the coffee shop they so frequently went to.

She is looking at the cup of coffee and the napkin under it with a note written on it.

_Have a nice day, beautiful!_

_Call me ;)_

_Maxence, 98XX-XXXX-XXXX_

 

“He was cute,” Alya said, also staring.

“Yup,” Marinette popped the ending quite hard. “Was he cuter than Elliot?”

“Elliot again?” Alya grumbled. “I thought you weren’t going to call him again.”

“I did not call, he texted me. I said I wasn’t going to call him for a while. I like Elliot, he doesn’t want anything serious, _I_ don't’ want anything serious, he knows what I like and does it well, he respects me and minds his own business. Plus, he is hot.”

“I know, I know but, Marinette, you’ve not been on a real date in so long. Don’t you want something steady?”

“Not really,” Marinette shrugged, “I have so much to do with university, commission, Jagged’s new costumes for his tour and a thousand more things that I’m probably forgetting. Casual works for me.”

“But is this what you really want?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I am telling you.”  
“Are you sure? You used to be in love with love and now you are just going to conform with a nice guy because he is good in bed?”

“Also all the things I mentioned before,” Marinette put one finger up. “I don’t want a relationship, can we stop this conversation?”

“No.” Alya crossed her arms in front of her chest, “This is about Adrien isn’t it?”

Marinette frowned, “ _Don’t._ ”

“I’m your friend, I’m just trying to-”  
“Don’t try anything. “

“Nino saw him on a party he was DJing,” Alya said carefully, but still daring.

“I don’t want to know, Alya,” Marinette said, a warning on her voice.

“But you miss him! Every fucking day! You act like you don’t care but he is in everything you do and say!” Alay threw her hands up, “I still don’t know what happened between you two but this is ridiculous. He was a mess, Marinette, I know that you care about him so why wo--

“Stop it,” Marinette sighed, “I know he is not doing well, I’ve seen the news but I can’t go and help him. He doesn’t want _my_ help, he doesn’t want _me_ near and I’m not going to beg to be included in his life if he doesn’t want that. I’ve accepted it, I moved on.”  

“You have not talked to him in three years, Marinette, how could you know what he wants? Maybe he is afraid, or too lost to come back to you.”

“Let’s get this clear: If Adrien needed me, he would have let me know. And besides, isn’t it more important that I don’t want to spend my life thinking about him every second of the day?”  
“But you do spend think about him!”  
“Of course I think about him, he pops on TV all the time, he is hard to ignore, you know? But that doesn’t mean I want to! I don’t want anything to do with Adrien Agreste!”

Alya tilted her head, a tender look settled in her eyes.

“I don’t believe a word you said,” Alya stood up, “Well, I do believe that you want to get over it, that you don’t want to think about him, but not for the reasons you try to convince me you have.”

“I don’t have to prove anything to you if you don’t believe me that’s on you, but don’t try to push me to do something I don't’ want to. If you and Nino want to contact him again, do it! No one is keeping you to do so, but don’t put me on the same bag. The Adrien I loved doesn’t exist anymore, and I don’t want to be anything with this new guy.”

“But, Marinette,”

Marinette took her bag off the table and jumped out of her chair, leaving Alya without a goodbye.

She walked to the coffee bar and waved at the employee who had attended them before.

“Maxence?” She asked.

“Anything you need, gorgeous?” He answered, walking to her as he dried a mug with a kitchen cloth.

“Thanks for the number,” She said, her voice was sulky. “When does your shift end?”

Maxence eye’s popped open and he ran his tongue over his teeth showing off all the joy her words had made him feel.

“I still have an hour left, but if you want to wait I would--  
Marinette took a napkin on top of the table, grabbed a pen of the side of the cashier and wrote an address on it.

“Table 3, I’ll be wearing red and my hair down. I’ll be there in two hours, don’t be late,” She winked and spun on her heels, walking away to the main door.

Strutting with confidence she walked to the closest metro, and it wasn't until she sat on the train that she frowned and chirped her teeth.

Alya’s intentions were nice, but she had to understand that whatever had happened between Adrien and her was over, a hundred percent dead. If Alya wanted to help she would need to find another way, she wasn’t wrong in what she said, Marinette did miss Adrien, she wanted a relationship and she was hurting and not being herself was a consequence of it, but, hey! she was having fun, it did make her feel better to have control over the boys she date and not getting attached to them. What was so wrong about it? Marinette could not live her whole life wondering what was Adrien doing and then live her life as she wanted to.

Marinette was doing okay, she only had to make other people believe she was.

  


**FIVE YEARS APART.**

 

It wasn’t on her plans to go out tonight, but Maxence had dropped on her apartment, and after a fun time together they were both left pretty hungry.

Maxence, who was always up for a few drinks had dragged them to one of the new bars that had opened during the year. It was modern and had great music, it was really exclusive too, but they managed to get in thanks to Maxence’s contacts.

They were seated on a table on a higher level than the dance floor, but not quite a second floor, it was the perfect place to eat and drink but still listen to the music and watch the people who moved to the rhythm of the music.

Taking her phone out of her purse she took one glance at the time and started to think when would be the right time to leave without making Maxence feel wrong. It’s not that she didn’t like the place or his company, it was that lately she was getting tired of going out and wanted to chill in her apartment, watch movies and just not have to wear anything fancier than her softest pajamas.

She balanced back and forward on the chair she was seating, watching how the lights hit on the dancer’s faces, how they twirled and flirted on the dancefloor.

Marinette bit the straw and tasted the cherry flavor of her drink.

“Good?” Maxence asked.

Marinette winked at him and kept drinking.

It was nice to go out with him, the places he knew never disappointed. She would not stop thinking about this drink for a few weeks.

“There’s a band playing,” Max said close to her, “The kind you like,”

She bugged her eyebrows and looked at the dance floor, searching for a stage. Her eyes dropped on something she wasn’t waiting to find.

 _Adrien_.

She choked on her drink and almost fell off her chair. Refusing Max’s help she stood up and walked to the stairs in the middle of the bar area, to get a better look of the guy.

She heard the steps following her but didn’t mind, she just kept going until she reached the highest point of the stairs and got a good look of her partner.

It came to mind that she had never seen him dance before. As new as the situation was, it was similar to watch him in another situation. Adrien moved with the same grace he did running on the rooftops. Instead of having the navy night and the silver stars over his head, enhancing his features, he had vivid neon lights staining him in bright colors, that made his smile pop and his eyes glimmer.  

Marinette felt Max’s arms wrapping around her waist and his head nuzzling on the crook of her neck, but the vision of Adrien dancing was captivating. He was carefree as he only had been under the mask, he had intensity on his eyes and a goofy smile drawn on his lips, it was a hundred percent feline.

She kept watching when something caught her attention.

And the feeling changed.

Max left a kiss on her neck, the scene in front of her hit her gut.

Adrien’s smile was brighter than the neon lights and flashes on the dance floor and although she couldn’t hear his laugh, she could remember it perfectly and somehow, meters away from her it is strong enough to cancel the noise, his laugh is the only thing she heard.

The girl beside him it’s the only thing she saw.

By the way she danced, and how she touched him, she obviously knew him, the way they moved together and flirted with their eyes was too personal for them to be mere strangers.

She pushed Maxence aside and went down step by step, getting closer to the dance floor so she would be able to process what her eyes had captured.

But it didn’t change.

Adrien was there with a girl and they were touching and dancing, and finally, she saw them kissing.

_It hurt._

Why did it hurt?

She was over it! She had promised herself to leave it all behind”

_Why did it keep hurting?_

Would it _ever_ stop hurting?

Was this still romantic love? Was it something else?

Who was this girl and why was she so important that he accepted her in his life?

_Wait…._

The girl was pretty and he looked happy but… what if this was _the_ girl? The ex-wife he spoke when she met him in the future.

Marinette came back to Maxence, who had returned to his table and shouted close to his ear, “I need to go,”

He nodded and asked for a goodbye kiss, a snarky smile on his lips.

Marinette rolled her eyes and simply waved him goodbye.

Strutting down the stairs and into the dancefloor, she kept her eyes on Adrien and threw imaginary darts at the girl beside him. Only stopping when a new thought popped in her mind.

What if this wasn’t the ex-wife but the wife?

Marinette stood close but hiding behind dancers so he wouldn’t see her by accident. The more she looked, the more convinced she was that the girl was a stranger to her, which meant she hadn’t gone to school.

No, this was definitely the ex-wife he talked about in her visit to the future. His wife must have been someone from the fencing team or the other extracurricular activities he took during their school years. Maybe it was Kagami, who knew! But this wasn’t the girl.

She threw her head back and sighed frustrated.

How she wished she could know if this was the timeline she needed to protect, the timeline where they found their way back, the timeline where they are both happy despite their past pain.

Marinette had been living with the thought that she had changed the timeline, that the man she met in the future would never cross her path again, but covered by all her lies and self-convincing words, there inside her mind, a stroke of hope hid, and Marinette, blindly, kept holding into it.

Seeing Adrien and this girl made her believe that she wasn’t so far of the desired timeline.

So, if the timeline hadn't changed, if all the speeches she repeated to herself in front of the mirror were nothing but a mistake, it meant that the girl that was kissing Adrien on the dancefloor, the girl who wore the biggest diamond ring she had ever seen, was the girl who was going to break Adrien’s heart.

This girl had lied and used him and she was supposed to stay there and watch? She could do something about it now!

She could prevent all the pain, she could save him of the disappointment and the heartbreak. Somehow, find their path back earlier. Nonetheless, if she wanted the beautiful life Chat described, the timeline he was so happy to have, she would have to walk away.

Biting her lip and tears streaming down her face, she turned around and ran, if she stared at him one more second she would regret her acts.

Punching and dodging people on the floor, she was cornered into the walls of the room, near the stage.

And because she was Marinette and old habits die hard, her two left feet made a comeback just in front of a bunch of cables and a way-too-inclined ramp.

Fluttering her arms didn’t help her keep her balance, so she closed her eyes and put her hands in front of her face to meet with her inevitable destiny when, suddenly, she stopped mid-air.

A pair of arms were around her and she was being pulled back on her feet.

Marinette took a deep breath and looked up. Her blue eyes met a beautiful shade of teal.

“Are you okay?” His voice was deep, his pace was slow and radiated kindness.

Marinette stared at him shamelessly for longer than she should have, but since he didn't’ seem to mind she just kept looking.

“Yes, thanks to you,” Marinette said. Hand on her chest, her heart beating against it like threatening to break free and the other against his arm, “You literally saved my life,”

His rich laugh echoed on her ears. Marinette could have melted, first from the tenderness she was feeling in her heart, and later for the embarrassment, she felt when she realized how she was holding on to him, and how dramatic she had sound.

“Sorry, I tend to exaggerate,”  
“Oh, you did not. It was an ugly fall, who knew what could have happened!” He said pulling up a sweet smile, “I’m glad I saved your life or we could have had an awful situation. I mean, I wouldn’t have like to mop a floor spilled with blood on my first show.”

For that comment she knew his humor could be dark, now he was being nice and polite, not crossing the line, but it was obvious that it went beyond it. Good thing so was hers.

“Yeah, that would be a bummer.”

Marinette shifted her weight to her other foot when pain pierced through. She bounced on her place and used the boy as support to not fall again.

“Oh,” He said, catching her arm, “Did you get hurt?”

“It seems like it,” She twisted her ankle a bit and the pain came back, “Ow,”

“If you allow me,” The boy said, one arm close to her waist but not touching. Marinette smiled and nodded, then he acted.

He guided her and helped her walk to the back of the stage, where there was a lighter atmosphere with fewer neon lights and screams.

It was a small room with a few couches a table with food and coffee, and a few guitars and clothes laying around.

“Sit here,” The boy pointed the closest couch and she did as he said.

Taking her ankle he put it up on top of the table, a small pillow under it.

He shifted through the room so fast Marinette was barely able to follow his moves and once he came back he had his arms full.

The first thing he gave her was a bottle of water and then a chocolate bar.

The boy sat next to her and used the big bag of ice he was carrying and the towel to put it over her feet.

“That will help.”

“This is really nice of you.”  
With better lighting, Marinette took a moment to actually see the boy. She had already noticed that he was handsome. His eyes were the lightest blue, his nose was slim and a bit crooked but there was something about it that made it look cute, his lips were full and his jaw was sharp. Then there were those little details she had not seen in the dancefloor, his hair had dark black roots under the teal, he had a piercing on his left brow, he was wearing eyeliner and had a small cut under his lip that mixed with his smile.

Besides all the roughness of his features and style, he radiated softness. It was an irony, an irony that she was deeply enjoying.

“Better?” He asked, bringing back to the moment.

“Yes, thank you….” Marinette stopped, unable to remember his name.

“I haven’t told you my name,” He said laughing and then introduced himself, “I’m Luka, I’m the main guitarist and songwriter of the band that’s about to perform.” _Luka._  That was pretty and a bit edgy. It suited him.

“Can I know _your_ name?”  
She nodded, smiling as she looked at the ground “I’m Marinette.”

“ _Marinette,_ ” The way he said her name, oh, it did things on her. “What do you do, Marinette?”

“I’m a fashion designer,” She answered, cupping her cheeks that she knew were staining in a deep red.

“That’s so cool! You must be very creative,”

“Says the songwriter,”

“Exactly,” He winked at her and her heart did a funny jump on her chest.

A beeping sound echoed in the room interrupting them. Luka looked down and took his phone out of his pocket.

“I gotta go on stage,” He said, “Do you need anything else? You can hang here until you go. I could ask for more ice or maybe a drink or--

“It’s fine,” She said, “I’ll keep the ice on and I’ll listen to the show from here, no need to worry about me.”  
“Well, I do. I saved your life I feel like I have some kind of responsibility left,”

“Oh, please don’t.  You’ve done more than enough,”

“Okay, but don’t doubt to ask if you do need something. Just say you’re with me,”

“Alright.”

Luka stood up, took the closest guitar and twisted it on his hand.

“Showtime,” A big smile appeared on his lips, making him look even more handsome.

“I would say break a leg but it would be a little ironic,” Marinette said lifting her leg a little.

Luka laughed and winked at her before disappearing through the curtains.

He started playing only five minutes later and Marinette’s hatred for her clumsiness turned stronger.

His music was good. Just like Maxence had said, it was her kind of music.

How frustrating! If her ankle didn’t hurt as much as it did, she would have been jumping on the dancefloor as she saw the band perform.

Knowing that there was nothing she could do to change it, she relaxed on the sofa, closed her eyes and let the music be the only thing on her mind.

Marinette was so immersed in the music that pain slowly fainted away as she heard the upbeat tunes going dark or up, twirling around and making her feel like she was swooning.

Once it was over she missed it tremendously, but then came back Luka, and it wasn’t so bad.

“How are you?” He asked. He looked sweaty, his hair was pressed to his forehead and his eyeliner was staining under his eyes but he still looked very good.

Marinette took one of the towels on her side and threw it to him, “I’m fine. Your music was so great! I enjoyed it very much!”

“Thank you! I wish you could have seen us, I don’t want to brag but we do put on an amazing show,”

“Maybe next time,” Marinette shrugged quite the explicit message on her words.

And Luka seemed to catch on it and smiled.

“Next time it’ll be.” He said, “So, are you doing something now or…

“Actually, I have to go,” The disappointment on her voice was clear. “I need to catch a taxi and go home, I have a long day tomorrow,”

“Well, that’s a shame,” Luka said, “But if you’re interested, we’ll be playing again next Saturday. You can get in for free if you say my name.”

Marinette bit her cheek, keeping her excitement on the line.

“I’ll keep it mind,” She said and stood up, grabbing her purse and finally able to balance her body without any threat of falling. “It was really nice to meet you, Luka.”  
“The pleasure was all mine, Marinette,” Luka took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

Marinette’s heart combusted. What was this feeling? It was so familiar and yet, she couldn’t reach it. Maybe she did not want to. “So, is it safe to let you go outside alone or should I accompany you and make sure you don’t break an ankle?”

A smirk curled on Marinette’s lips, the heat on her cheeks was strong but she did not care if she was red as a tomato. It had only been one time she had felt this way and it was wonderful to feel it again, so without any doubt, she answered.

“I think having a bodyguard wouldn’t hurt.”  


**SIX YEARS APART.**

 

Marinette had doubts about many things in life, she was unsure of how things could go down with her recently established business, she was afraid of messing up with her apartment payments and she wasn’t confident on her skills when it came to savory food. But if there was one thing Marinette was sure about was that she was truly, madly, deeply in love with her boyfriend.

Luka and she had been dating for almost a year now and it had been the most wonderful year she had had in a long time.

In the beginning, as undeniable it was that she was attracted to Luka, falling in love had not been an option on her board. She had pushed the possibility away for as long as she could, until one day when she had gone see him on a show a girl threw herself at him and jealousy scorched her alive.

Now she knew she had nothing to worry about that night, Luka had felt the same way and after sharing a kiss on the dark corners of the hallway behind the stage they had started their relationship, and had been inseparable ever since.

After Adrien, she thought she would never fall in love, and here she was. Her heart had never felt so full as it did when Luka was around.

It was not only how kind and warm he was, it was the way he was passionate about everything he did, just like she was, how he remained positive when she could not see the light, how relaxed he was and helped her keep her nervousness balanced. Luka made a perfect contrast to her personality, they complemented each other.

He, of course, had his bad things. Like when he didn’t take things as serious as they were, or how passive-aggressive he could be instead of telling her things that were bothering him.

But all that didn’t matter, she loved him just the same.

He gave the support and love she needed in a relationship, and she gave it all back. Together, they were perfect.

Tonight had been just another proof of that.

They were coming back from dinner with her parents, seating on the metro together. His arms around her, her arms around his waist and chatting about the day, getting ready to go to her apartment.

Five stations before Marinette’s, their wagon stopped in front of one big screen, gossip news were on display and they were talking about Adrien and his wife.

Marinette felt acid go down her throat. But just like she always did when it came to her partner, she brushed it away and thought of something else.

Lately, she had become quite good at it.

She closed her eyes and leaned closer to her boyfriend, nuzzling her nose on the crook of his neck.

Luka put one hand on her head and caressed her, leaving a few kisses on her forehead.

“Were you two close?”

“Uh?”

“Model boy,” Luka said, pointing at the screen. “Your face does this strange thing every time you see or hear of him, you hide it but you’re not that fast.”

“If you can see that,  you stare too much then.”

“I think you’re beautiful, it’s hard to resist the need to watch you.”

Marinette blushed and hit his shoulder playfully.

Luka laughed too but took his serious stand, that didn’t appear very often, back.

“Marinette... I understand if you don’t want to tell me, but I don’t like to see you sad and every damn time he pops up you _are_ sad.”

Marinette felt hot tears accumulating in her eyes.

_Not now, not now._

She couldn’t break, not after all this time.

“Can we get home first?” She managed to say between chirped teeth and heavy breathing.

Luka stiffened and hugged her tightly, pressing one soft kiss on her lips.

“Of course.”  
The trip back home was tense, so much that Marinette could feel all her muscles about to snap. Every step she took felt heavy as if she was wearing shoes made of concrete. However, Luka’s reassuring presence and his hand on hers helped her keep going.

They went up the stairs so slow, that three people of the building got mad at them, but Luka didn’t complain or made her rush. He took her of her neighbors and guided her home.

He took her keys and opened the door, closing it behind him seconds after, his hand on her back so he could keep touching her. Marinette appreciated it.

He closed the door behind them and turned the light of the hallway. Illuminating most of the little apartment.

Marinette ran to the couch, threw her purse and jacket and sat down, hugging her legs close to her body.

There was no running around the bush, they both knew it.

“He was my best friend in the whole world.”

That was a phrase she had never been able to tell anyone but her therapist. No one in her life knew how much Adrien had meant to her, everyone would always assume her crush had been intense, but they weren’t aware of the truth. Luka was now the first.

“So you _were_ really close.” Luka sat next to her, holding her hands and squeezing softly.

“Yes.” She nodded, “No one knows how much. Our relationship… it was different from any other friendship I’ve had. Adrien and I were a perfect team, we didn’t know everything about each other, but we knew the things that mattered, and we would have given up our own lives for the other.”  
Marinette focused on her boyfriend. Her words were intense because her feelings were, and she didn’t know how that would set on him.

Luka swallowed and bit his lip, he looked to the side but didn't’ say anything.

“I was in love with him and… I think he was a bit in love with me too and… we fucked up, _I_ fucked up.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know that Adrien’s father… he was…”

“Yes, I know. That must have been rough.”  
“It was horrifying. Nothing has ever been as awful as that moment was. Adrien broke but he broke in such a different and subtle way that… I was unable to help him.”

“Marinette…” Luka whispered and cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb along her lips, in that soft way she loved. “I doubt that anyone would have been able to help him in that situation.”

“I could have. He had me and I… I could have dealt with it better.” Tears fell on her cheeks and she sobbed, “Things turned so overwhelming, for both of us, but he wasn’t in his right mind and I was supposed to have his back but I wasn't strong enough. He couldn’t handle it, he walked away saying that we needed space. He called and messaged me for a while but after a few months he vanished and never spoke to or looked out for me again.

“Oh, baby,” Luka pulled her close and on top of him, making her sit on his lap to hold her better. “It’s not your job to keep someone happy, and you were too young to handle a situation like this by yourself. I need you to understand that, mon coeur.”  
“I know but I’m unable to completely grasp that and use it to stop my aching heart. I miss him so much it has made me angry and depressed and every day I just wish I could skip time and get to the moment when we find each other again and we can the friends we were.”

Luka kissed her cheeks, were the tears streamed.

“I wish I could take that pain away,” He whispered, “I also wish I could bring him back to you, but he left and hasn’t called you in years. I don’t think it’s healthy to--

“No,” Marinette said harshly, frowning at him.

“Marinette…”

“He’ll come back,” She stated with all the confidence in her heart.

Because what was a wish or an impossible event years back when she was at rock bottom today was a real possibility. Things were brighter in her life, she stopped being angry, she stopped being miserable and lived her life and was happy, she didn’t need him obsessively, she only wanted her friend. And if she was able to feel that, if she was able to grow and become a better version of herself, so could Adrien. She believed he would.

“Marinette…”

“You don’t understand.”

“Help me understand.”

His words echoed like a wake-up alarm.

Marinette had all the facts, she had the whole picture formed in her head and that allowed her to believe in his upcoming return. Nonetheless, Luka only had what Marinette had said and maybe a few details Alya had sneaked in when she wasn’t paying attention, maybe even a warning from her and Nino. In Luka’s eyes, this was nothing but wishful thinking.

That’s why she kept all of it under wraps, because no one would ever understand.

Sadly, she wanted him to understand. She wanted him to be the one that knew, she wanted to give him all of her so there would be no walls between them.

There was only one way to do that, and she had promised it to keep it a secret.

Although, was it worth it? Why did it matter know? Keeping the promise was consuming her.

Marinette would put her life in Luka’s hands and she would feel calm, so why should she keep this from him?

There wasn’t a strong enough reason.

“I have a way to explain,” She whispered.

“I’m listening,” Luka encouraged her, pressing his forehead against hers.

“What I’m about to tell you must remain a secret. _Forever_.” She swallowed hard and felt her whole body trembling.

Luka felt it too, and rubbed his hands on the back of her neck like he always did when she was stressed.

“I promise I won’t tell a soul, baby,”

Marinette drew a sharp breathe and let it go.

Here it went.

 _I’m sorry Tikki._ “I was Ladybug.”

It felt like a balloon had popped making a loud noise and then all around it kept quiet. The only background noise was the heater on the wall and Luka’s heart at lightspeed.

Marinette put one hand under his chin and lifted it, looking for his sight.

Luka sighed loudly.

“It makes sense,” He said, there was a quiver on his voice she had never heard before, “I really don’t know anyone as amazing as you so… yeah…”

“I feel like I broke you,”

“No,” He shook his head, “It really does make sense, it’s just not what I was expecting to hear.”  
“I bet.”

“But now… now I get it,” Luka clicked his tongue, “Your bond with Adrien.”

“Oh, well…

“He was Chat Noir.” Luka completed.

“Yes.” She didn’t need to give confirmation, for the expression on his face it was obvious that he had puzzled all together.

“He was Chat Noir and he had to fight his father… he had to give two statements and all to put him into jail.”

“Yes.”  
“Fuck, his life really was a black hole and you knew it all, you were there for him when his life was a never ending spiral.”

“I tried.”  
“You did your best, Nette! It only makes what I said before truer. You were freaking seventeen years old and you were trying to keep together a boy whose world had completely crashed down.

He left, but if you’re so sure he is coming back, then I don’t think he left because he resented you or stopped loving you, or whatever crazy and depressing thought you could have had. It was probably awful to feel what he was feeling, but to see you suffering too? I know that if that was me I wouldn’t stand to break you because of what I was going through.”

When her therapist spoke to her, those were the kind of words she used, that was the narrative she tried to make Marinette believe, and she had accepted them as a possibility but had never completely embraced them. Now, coming from Luka’s mouth, from the man she loved with all her heart, the man who knew her as he did then they finally felt true.

Marinette cupped his cheeks and crashed her lips with hers.

She really would never be able to show him how much she really loved him.

“I love you,” She said breathless, leaving kisses all over his chin, jaw, and cheeks.

“I love you too.” He answered, lovestruck, “Are you feeling okay or was that you trying to change the subject?”

“I’m okay,” Another kiss, “Thank you for being so understanding with me and telling me exactly what I needed to hear.”

“Whenever you want, baby.”

Marinette snuggled closer to him, between his arms she always found shelter.

He left a kiss on top of her head and started playing with pieces of her hair.

His questions popped only a few minutes later, asking all about her superheroes days. Marinette told him everything.

She laughed and cried as she told the stories as if they were an old greek crossing legend, and Luka laughed and cried with her too.

It made Marinette feel so good to talk about those memories with someone she trusted that she did not realize how late it got until she watched Luka fight to keep his eyes open.

Smiling and warm inside, she dragged him to bed with her, ignoring him when he said he wasn’t sleepy (oh, he was adorable but he couldn't fool anyone).

Sleepy but still strong,  Luka rolled them in bed, so she would be lying on her back and he could nuzzle against her neck. Marinette hugged him closer and began to brush his hair just like he did with her.

He fell asleep shortly after, but Marinette didn’t mind, Luka had tried his best to keep listening and had shown real interest on her stories, she could never be mad at him for falling asleep.

After talking to someone she loved, she felt like a hole on her heart had been patched and something beautiful was about to bloom on it.

Things weren’t perfect yet, but they were really close to be. She just had to believe that one day Adrien would walk through that door and they would be friends again.

Once they were back together, they could go on double dates with Luka and Adrien’s future-wife.

 

**SEVEN YEARS APART.**

 

Marinette put her hair up in a bun. It had been bothering all day and now that she was drawing the shapes of the dress on the fabric and she could not mess up. The fabric was expensive and as nice as her boss was, she wouldn’t be happy if she wasted it.

She was hunching over the big purple cloth when someone poked her lower neck and make her jolt.

Aurore laughed on the back.  
“Why do you do that?” Marinette whined, “Why do you enjoy finding new ways to startle me?”

“I don’t know, it’s fun,” She shrugged, “But I wasn’t doing it to startle you right now. I was about to tease you,”  
“Oh, were you?”  
“Yes, because you have a massive hickey on your neck. Is good to know Luka is taking good care of you on your must stressful months.”

Marinette felt the blood rushing to her cheeks, as it did in cartoon characters, from the tip of their toes to the last part of their foreheads.

Aurore laughed again.

Marinette pulled the band off her hair, and let it lose again.

“It wasn’t like that,” She whispered under her breath.

“Don’t be shy-- aw, you’re adorable,” Aurore pinched one of Marinette’s cheeks.

“Stop,”

“I won’t is funny to see you all red,”

“It’s not. I don’t even know why I get embarrassed, it’s not a big deal.”  
“Uh, I’ll tell Luka that,”

Marinette threw her hands down and turned to Aurore with a killing look on her eyes.

As it was her style, Aurore laughed even louder this time.

“I love teasing you, don’t ever leave.” She said and hugged Marinette tightly, “I know you have your side store and I really want you to triumph, but I’m gonna miss you so much if you leave, so I’m serious, please don’t.”

“You know I can’t promise that,” Marinette said in awe.

“I know,” Aurore sighed, “You’ll be a fashion entrepreneur, you’ll be in all the great magazines and marry the guitarist of the band leading the Billboard charts.”  
Now it was Marinette’s time to laugh.

“You’re ridiculous. I’m gonna miss you too.”

“I appreciate your last words, but about the first one, there’s nothing ridiculous about my statement. You know it will be like that.”

“You say it with such confidence when there’s a whole lot of things that play a part on them.”  
“Well yeah,” Aurore sat on the table next to her, “But you have the talent and are hard-working enough to make it to the top. When it comes to Luka and you, I’m a hundred percent certain that you’ll get married. I mean, I even suspect it will happen quite soon.”  
“What?”

“A few months or so,”

Marinette huffed amused, “It’s not happening. We both have too much to do and focus on to think about it. Damn, we haven’t even talked about marriage.”

“So you say,”

“I’m serious, Aurore,” Marinette turned around to avoid her gaze, she set her sight on a distant point on the office so her annoyance wouldn’t meet her friend. “Luka and I are happy together and things are nice as they are, when it comes the time we’ll talk about it but for now we--”

The silhouette of a man caught her attention. He entered the room with a bouquet of roses and walked to the reception.

Marinette could not see his face but his build and his outfit were activating her flight or fight response.

For a year she had kept her eyes on the door, jumping at the sight of every man that had a black outfit on, and none of those times it had been him.

“Marinette?” Aurore called her name but she was too caught up to answer.

All those times when it had been someone else, a stranger that she couldn’t care less or a mail man that she had had to receive, her heart had stopped beating, but now it was beating as fast as a drum.

He was still giving him her back, even as he moved across the hallway.

She stared and analyzed him for far too long to be considered polite, but she didn’t care because she was making a list on her head.

Blonde hair. Check.

Tall and nicely-build to be a model. Check.

Black outfit from head to toe. Check.

Bouquet of roses. Check.

He fit the description future-Adrien had given her. Everything did.

And then he turned around.

Adrien. C _heck._

It was _him._

It was _really_ him.

And because of that, she ran.

It had been way too long since she last embraced him.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr: buginettez.
> 
>  
> 
> and if you like original stories, i've posted one! here are the links: https://buginettez.tumblr.com/post/183950816668/nightfall-in-the-borderline-of-the-dark-kingdom


	4. please wait a bit more (and wait for me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't make this chapter work, and I have so many things going on that I've only been writing the stories that come easily to me, bc if not I would collapse. 
> 
> Well, here it is :D
> 
> also if you wanna join a writers discord:
> 
> [ **click here** ](https://discord.gg/P7TtA9)

**THREE MONTHS BACK TOGETHER**

 

Luka was at the studio working with the band on their EP, and Adrien was over for lunch, as he had been for the last three Thursdays of the month. 

Things were… awkward, to say the least. 

He was trying, she could see, but it wasn’t enough. 

No amount of banal conversation and attempts to be funny would melt her cold heart. 

Adrien had just come back from his classes and was excited about a new topic he had reviewed this morning. Marinette was sure it was interesting but she couldn’t listen to him. If she did she would scream and she didn’t want to scream and create a scene.

She twisted the fork on her hands and pushed the spaghetti over her plate, focusing on the stains of red sauce on the white plate instead of her anger. 

_ “Marinette,” _

She looked up, eyes wide open with surprise. 

“You’re not listening,”   
“I got distracted, I’m sorry,”

“No, you did not.”

That bothered her. What did he know?

Adrien sighed and threw his head back. 

“I can’t tell what you’re thinking anymore, Marinette.” He said, a sad tone on his voice,  “But your eyes are red and your cheeks puffy, it’s obvious enough, even more so when the last times we’ve been meeting you have looked the same. I didn’t want to intrude, I know I don’t have the right but I’m dying here. I need to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m okay,”

“Everything good at work? Everything good with Luka?”

“Great at work, perfect with Luka. I’m fine.”

“Is me, isn’t it?” Adrien asked, “I  _ am _ what bothers you.”

“Adrien,”   
“I’m not saying it to make you feel guilty. I’m saying it because I need to know if I’m overstepping if I’m doing this wrong…”

Did he really not know? It was impossible that he didn’t feel the tension in the air. Was he asking so they could finally talk? 

Whatever the reason was didn’t matter. It was time to be straightforward.

Things weren’t okay, she wasn’t happy with him being back. Well, she  _ was  _ but not in the way she thought she would be.

It wasn’t something that she started to feel recently, it started on the corridor of her workplace, right after Adrien walked on her life again. When they stopped hugging and their eyes met, Marinette realized that behind the hope and the continuous feelings of missing, she was still  _ pretty fucking angry.  _

He left and avoided for years and then came back out of the blue! What could have happened if she hadn’t traveled to the future? If she didn’t know that he was going to come back, things could have ended quite differently. 

It was time to say it all. 

“I thought I could forgive you, that I could understand. Turns out, _ I can’t.” _

Adrien stiffened, he dropped the fork he had been holding and dragged the stool a few centimeters away, as he stood up and went back to his seat in an odd motion. 

Marinette kept speaking despite how awful he looked. 

“ _ You left me. _ You told me we needed time and then you vanished without explanation. You never contacted me again. I missed you for seven years, Adrien. I had to see you on TV, on ads all over town, hear about you on radio shows. You popped up again and reinserted yourself in my life as if nothing had happened! But many things happened, Adrien! It’s been three months and you haven’t been able to give me a decent explanation. How am I supposed to forgive you if you don’t give me anything to work with?”

“Marinette,”   
“I waited for you and I wanted you back, but if you think that I can pretend that nothing happened and be your friend again when you hurt me like no one else has hurt me before, then I don’t want you close to me because it means you don’t have a grain of respect or love for me,”

Adrien sighed, he leaned forward putting his head on his hands. He whispered something that Marinette could not understand.

He moaned loudly and painfully and sat straight once again. 

“You lost almost ten kilograms while we were together.” He said breaking the silence faster than she imagined. 

The tension broke and increased all at the same time. 

Marinette quivered at the coldness of his words. 

She remembered that. She could have lost even more weight after he left if her parents hadn’t intervened. 

“You cried every night. You were jumpy, you didn’t design anymore. Your lips were dry, your under eyes were so prominent… you looked  _ dead _ . You didn’t go out with friends, you didn’t talk or texted them, the  _ only  _ thing you focused on was me _. _

“You needed me,” She said, feeling like she needed to excuse herself. It felt like he was accusing her of something. 

“I… yes I did, but not in the ways that I was taking you. I was draining you, Marinette, and you were letting me. The worst part is that _ I _ didn’t realize! I saw you every day, I spent every second of the day with you and I couldn’t see how much you were hurting!”

“You were hurting more than I was,”

“It doesn’t matter who was hurting more, it doesn’t matter at all. You weren’t supposed to get depressed, you … ugh,” Adrien kicked the table with his feet, “You were so, so unhappy, and you shouldn’t have been, and I kept it going for so long until… until that day,”

Marinette didn’t have to ask what he was talking about, after a quick and sharp inhale of air, he continued.

“Alya visited and brought things to cheer you up, she was there for hours trying to make you act like your older self. I thought it was ridiculous, that she had no idea how horrible the situation really was, so I rolled my eyes and went to lie on your bed. While I was there, your dynamic changed completely and after a few minutes, Alya said something, I didn’t hear it well, but what I did hear, loud and clear, was your laugh.” A little smile curled on his lips, “I hadn’t heard you laugh in weeks. Not once. 

I tried to think about why. The answer came only a few seconds after that since it was obvious. You didn't laugh because of  _ me _ . You weren’t happy  _ because  _ of me,”   
“Adrien-”

“Don’t.” He put a hand up, “It is true, I know that deep down you know it too. You weren’t happy,  _ we  _ weren’t happy, because I was weighing us down. That’s why I left. I had to. You were never going to be happy with me by your side.”

“That was for me to decide,” Adrien could be right, maybe she had let herself get too attached and forgot to be rational, entering into this spiral of emptiness with him, but he didn’t have any right to decide for her. 

“No, it wasn’t,” Adrien cut, “Because when you had the chance to walk away, to separate yourself from me, you didn’t do it. You drowned with me, Marinette. _ No, _ better said, you were trying to keep me afloat by taking away my heavyweight, and that was taking you into the deep. You were trying to take away the pain, you were doing your best to get me to heal even if that meant you were suffering my pain instead.”

She couldn’t argue. It was what she had done.    
“I really don’t know what else to say. That’s why I left,” His eyes darkened, “You can ask me questions. I’ll respond honestly.”   
_ Questions.  _

She had so many questions and he was finally giving her the chance to get her answers. 

Her mind was a mess of tangled memories and painful regrets, questions that went from simple doubts to chaotic niggling. 

And because of that, she should start with the easy ones, with the kind of questions she had had for so long, that she had wrapped her mind around them already. 

“Well, I would like to know about your marriage,” 

She did know a little, because of her trip to the future, so she wouldn’t be so lost. 

“There’s not much to say about that,” He shrugged.

Marinette shot him a glance. 

Adrien threw his head back and let out an annoyed sigh. He went back to his stiff position very quickly and fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt. 

“Well, let’s see. I got married, and it has the second place on the  _ worst-fucking-decisions-of-my-life _ list.” Adrien rubbed his temples “It could have been easily avoided if I went to therapy earlier. Feeling loved is one hell of a drug, could have been nice if it had been real. Divorce ain’t fun either, can’t wait till its over.”

“That’s it?”   
“Uh,” Adrien furrowed his brows, “Really that’s all there is, I could tell you all about Lila and what an incredible liar she is, how she is a gold digger and one of the worst people I’ve ever met, and how ashamed I am that for a moment I let myself believe that I was in love. I could tell you about all the horrible things she did to win money, fame, and power, but I feel like we could be here all day, and I don’t feel like going through that right now,” 

Marinette’s stomach twisted in knots. 

She stopped herself from saying sorry. 

There would be time for that at some other point, right now she needed answers and she was allowed to be selfish. 

“Was that what made you come back?” Another fast question, and what had been eating her alive since she started to fear that the timeline could be different than the one she visited. She knew future-Chat’s reasons, but not present-Adrien ones. 

“No.” It was a strong answer and he did not hesitate to give it, “I realized pretty early on in my marriage that something wasn’t right but I didn’t want to admit it. Kagami and I had a fight about it, with my only friend left walking away from me I realize that maybe I needed to do something about my life. It took me some time but I started to see the situation for what it was, that lead to me going to therapy, taking classes and get into university, and finally filing for divorce. I started working on myself because I wanted to fix things, I realized how badly I had fucked up, how I saw only myself and didn’t consider anyone else’s feelings. I started with Kagami and then Nino… I didn’t know if going back to you would be the best thing, so it took me some time and courage to go find you.”   
“Well….” Marinette flicked her hair away. 

“Keep asking, I don’t need feedback to my answers if you don’t want to say anything,”   
“Alright,” She nodded, feeling a bit of relief, “Why did you keep being friends with Kagami? What made her different?”

“Abusive parent. She understood more than anyone else did… until I turned it into the only reason to have a friendship and things got rough and then as I said before the marriage and… well, that’s pretty much it,”

With those two questions answered, a few others she had in mind dissipated. They didn’t seem as important anymore.

Actually, nothing that she had in mind would help her stop her anger, because it wasn’t just Adrien leaving what had hurt. It was the small things he did when the chance of meeting or intertwining their paths again what bothered her the most. 

And between all those small occasions, one situation stood up to her. 

“The note you sent Alya,” She whispered, pressing her hands in fists, “You didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Adrien narrowed his eyes. 

He fidgeted and looked genuinely lost in thought for a moment before confusion took over his expression. 

“What note? I haven’t contacted Alya, Marinette, my only interaction with her has been through Nino.”

“Well, you might have not known it was Alya at the time but you must have seen the documentary and put the pieces together, right?” 

“I don’t remember sending a note, Marinette.”

“You did,” Marinette said angrily, “Alya was looking for you, for  _ Chat Noir, _ for the documentary. She set a trap for you. You answered and you were very angry on the note.”

Something sparked in his eyes. 

There. She got him.

“Oh… I think I know what could have happened,”

_ “What?” What could have happened?! _

“I didn’t write the note. Kagami did.”

Marinette stopped for a second, she blinked in shock and tilted her head to him.

“ _ She knows?! _ ”

“I didn’t tell her, she figured out on her own. She doesn’t know you’re Ladybug, don’t worry about that.” Adrien reached for her hand but she flinched before he could touch her, “Did you really believe it was from me? I would never say that about you.”   
“Why not? Is what you did, you left and never looked back until now.”

“That’s not what happened.”   
“I saw you once on a metro and talked to you and you ignored me!”   
“You did? Marinette if I was out in public and you didn’t place yourself right in front of me, I would have never seen you or hear you for the matter. I would wear sunglasses and earphones the whole time, it made it more bearable to be outside” Adrien explained, “I must have not seen you at all, Nette. Because I made sure to keep up with you, and if you had talked to me I wouldn’t have avoided you, maybe I would have tried to make it short and find an excuse to leave, but I would have never ignored you.”

“What do you mean you kept up with me?”   
“You contacted Kagami a lot, she used to tell me everything about you. I gave her a thousand questions so she could ask you some and I would know of you. Sometimes you didn’t run into her by accident, sometimes I would send her to check on you.” 

“Doesn’t sound like something Kagami would do,”

“She has a soft spot for me.” He shrugged, “Then when you were at university I had contacts, I would know how you were doing… I know, I know don’t put that face, I know it was stalkerish,”

“There’s no  _ ish _ , that’s stalker behavior and if you wanted to know about me so badly, you should have come to me! Directly!”   
“You were just being yourself again, I could not come back.” Adrien said, “I didn’t ask for your grades or anything, I just saw your drafts and works every now and then, and I went to many of your shows undercover. I bought one of your pieces once, I don’t know what I planned to do with a corset but it was so beautiful and you, I just knew it had taken you nights to finish, for the way you presented it I knew you didn’t want to sell it, so I bought it. It’s in my apartment if you want it.”

She remembered the piece he was talking about.

Silk and lace and six nights of work. It had been painful to see it go and it had been surprising learning how much they had paid for it. From all the pieces she sold for that assignment, the corset had been the one to earn her the most. 

Now she knew why someone would pay three hundred and fifty euros for a corset. It was because the buyer was an idiot. 

“I stopped avidly checking on you when you started to date the barista,” Adrien clicked his tongue and an annoying look crossed his face, “You were thriving in all your classes, you had an incredible internship for the summer, and Kagami said you looked really happy with this guy, so I thought that it was time to stop worrying about you. I was gone, all my damage must have been nothing but a dark memory. You are strong and driven, I knew you would be okay so, finally, like a normal person, I let you go.”

“You stopped stalking me you mean,”

“Yeah, I stopped stalking you,” He admitted. 

This just gave an entirely new perspective to their years apart. 

“Nette… listen, I came back to say sorry, and I know I suck at apologies, I know I need to work on them, I also know that any explanation or word I could tell you will never be the perfect apology you deserve. I wasn’t expecting you to forgive me, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t deserve an apology, no matter how you took it. I entered your office knowing you could run, knowing you could ask me to leave, knowing that you could accept to listen to me but still not accept my apology. I told myself that if you didn’t want anything to do with me I was going to walk away. That _ still  _ stands. Say the words and I’ll leave.”   
Would it really be that easy? 

Was that what she wanted?

No. It wasn’t. 

She was angry and feeling lost, but between those feelings she was happy. Having him here, as awkward and painful it had been, also felt...  _ right.  _

He hadn’t changed much either, he had patched himself back together and was trying his best to fix their relationship, he was putting effort. 

If he wasn’t, if he didn’t actually care, and she could see now that he cared, he cared immensely, she would ask him to leave, but that wasn’t the case.

And, she said so.

“I don’t want you to leave. I’ve been waiting for you to come back from the moment you left, Adrien. You’re my partner, my other half, my most beloved friend… we just need to find a way to be all of that without it being awkward. No matter how challenging.”

“You know I’m always in for a challenge, my lady,”

Marinette cried. 

This time they were happy tears. 

  
  


**SEVEN MONTHS BACK TOGETHER**

 

Marinette saw Adrien leap and land gracefully in front of the three. 

Then he spun and gifted her an amused smirk as he put his hand against the tree. 

She stopped running and glared at him. 

Only ten seconds later she was by his side as he made a celebratory dance. 

“I won! I can’t believe I won!” Adrien said as he jumped and threw his hands in the air. The bags he was carrying bounced with him.

Marinette rolled her eyes as she looked at him and reached to take the pink bag that hung from his left shoulder. 

“Stop it, you’ll mess it all up,”

“Nah, you only say that because you’re angry I beat you,” 

“Uh, not true,”   
“Uh, yes true,” Adrien giggled and took her hands, pulling her closer, “Just admit you’ve been defeated, my lady,”   
She pushed him away putting her index finger on the tip of his nose. Just like old times.

“C’mon, let’s have lunch,”

Adrien nodded and took a blanket of his backpack. 

After they talked a few months ago, things had been nothing but good, and they had started a tradition to get lunch together every time they could. Marinette’s job and Adrien’s classes made it a little hard, but they always squeezed some time for the other. 

Today, thanks to the nice weather, they were having a picnic under a tree in a beautiful park. 

The sun was shining and there weren’t clouds in the sky, but there was a soft breeze that could make the sensation of the day a little cold. Because of that, Marinette sat really close to Adrien and pressed her head against his shoulder, to keep herself warm. 

As they ate, they talked about their day. 

Adrien was on his third of psychology so his schedule had been pretty much packed all semester, but he was so happy with it that he didn’t complain much about how tired he was, but in moments like this, when they were alone, Marinette could see how exhausted he really was. 

She knew his heart was here with her, but his brain was probably somewhere else. She had to take him out of there. 

“I finished the first drafts for the new collection we’re working on,” Marinette said.

“Yeah? Did you presented them already?”

“No, not yet,” She sat and pulled her bag close, “Do you want to see them? I need honest opinions,”

He smiled delighted and nodded at her. 

She took the sketchbook out and gave it to him.

“I love seeing your work,” He commented, before even opening the notebook. 

“I like it when you review it,” Marinette admitted, and leaned against the tree, closing her eyes and enjoying the chirp of the birds. 

She heard the flip of pages as Adrien saw and the occasional “wows” he let out made her heart soar. 

Marinette watched him as he skimmed through the designs and started sticking some post-it notes in a few ones. 

Marinette knew this was going to take him a while, so because she was so tired, she lied on the blanket. 

“You can use me as a pillow,” Adrien said as she accommodated herself. 

“Won’t you be uncomfortable?”

“No,” He smiled tenderly. 

“Okay,” She smiled back and crawled close to him, so she could put her head against his tight. 

She closed her eyes again and relaxed against him. 

Today was just wonderful, it was a perfect evening and she had the most perfect company. Being with him always made her feel so safe, not just because of their past, but because it meant that he was here, that things were going to turn alright. 

With the divorce going on, it was only a matter of time for Adrien to meet his future wife, and then the puzzle would finally be complete. They would be both happy with their respective spouses and they would be the best friends they were always meant to be. Their kids would be friends and they would be there for each other as time passed. 

Marinette sighed and smiled at the thoughts. 

It was just so perfect, that she relaxed and started to slowly fall asleep. 

She could feel her environment but she was deep in a dream. 

She couldn’t tell how long it had been, but once she heard the ring of her phone she opened her eyes. 

But she didn't’ move, because something else caught her full attention. 

Adrien was humming as he wrote down something on her sketches, and with his other hand, he was brushing her hair in soft caresses. 

The touch was so tender and full of love that it made her stomach twist in a strange motion. 

She coughed and moved, and Adrien stopped, however, his hand stayed there. 

Marinette rolled on her back and looked at him from under. 

His eyes were shining in a strange way she’d never seen before. 

“You have something in your hair,” He excused himself and pulled his hand back.

“It’s okay,” She said, to not make it more awkward. They were past the horrible stage but there were still times when things they used to do before, didn't sit well with her. 

“My phone rang, right?” She asked and he nodded. 

Adrien took the backpack from behind her and gave it to her. 

She took her phone from it immediately. 

She had an idea of who could be texting her.

“Luka?” Adrien asked.

Marinette nodded as she looked at the text and winced. 

A tense silence wrapped around them.    
“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“Nothing,” She lied.

“Marinette, you giggle like a five-year-old every time he texts you. Something is wrong if a text from Luka is making you react like this,”

“It’s just…” She sighed and threw her head back, “The audition…. the discography called him again and he says he’ll tell me all about it at home,”   
She gulped and looked at the text again, making sure she was reading it right. 

“Isn’t that good?” Adrien rose a brow, confused. 

“It is,” She said but didn’t sound convincing, “But, ugh, there’s only one deal that… just… let’s say that if this was all good news, he could have called,”   
Her phone vibrated again and she gasped.

“What?” Adrien leaned forward, his forehead almost pressing against her and his body brushing hers. 

“He came to pick me up,” Marinette bit her lip, “Let’s go to the entrance.”

Five minutes later, Adrien and Marinette were walking out to the street, where Luka was waiting for them seating on a bench. 

He waved from the distance and stood up, with his guitar on his back. 

“Should I go?” Adrien asked.

“No, not yet,” Marinette shook her head and squeezed his hand. 

“Hi, Adrien,” Luka said and fist-bumped with him, then he turned to her, “Hello, my love, I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” She smiled and stood on her tiptoes to get a kiss. 

When she came back to her spot, something felt different. 

Adrien was standing further away than before, and his body was turning to his right, instead than to her. His eyes were also focused on a point in the horizon but they looked a bit dead. His smile was odd too, too polished and model-ish like compared to his truthful smiles. 

This happened a lot lately. 

She only wished the love his life would appear soon. Marinette knew how much he wanted to be loved for real, and with the divorce happening he had not acted like the hopeless romantic she knew and adored. 

Marinette brushed those thoughts away and wrapped herself around Luka, as she heard the guys talk. 

“I would make a change on the keyboard arrangement, but that’s it,” Adrien said as he scrolled through the notes on his phone.    
“What about Heroine?” Luka asked. 

“Oh, is that my song?” Marinette fluttered her eyelashes at him and Luka ducked to give her a kiss. 

“Almost every song is about you, actually,” Adrien interrupted. His voice numb. 

“What can I say? She is my muse,” Luka gave a toothy grin. 

Marinette felt her heart squeeze.

Oh, she loved this man so much. 

“Well, I haven’t heard that one yet, I’m actually four songs in because I’ve been analyzing each one very carefully,”

“Thanks, man, that’s amazing,”   
“Yeah, no problem,” Adrien smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes, “So, I have to go. I have a ton to study and I know you too want couple-time so I’ll leave,”   
Marinette pouted and left Luka behind, throwing herself at him to hug him goodbye. 

“Goodbye, chaton. Good luck and don’t overwork yourself,”

“I won’t, I promise. I’ll talk to you later, princess.” He ruffled her hair and then turned to Luka, “I’ll text you when I finish the last two songs,”

“Sure thing. Take care, Adrien.

“You too, lovers,”

  
  


**ELEVEN MONTHS BACK TOGETHER.**

 

Marinette looked at the document for the thousandth time. 

“You’re going to a burn a hole through the paper, babe,”

Marinette glared at him and pursed her lips angrily. 

“We discussed this,” Luka said

“I know,” Marinette said between clenched teeth, “I just don’t understand,”

“Neither do I,” Luka sighed and stood up to be next to her. 

He put his hands on her waist and pulled her close to him, leaving one kiss on the nape of her neck. 

“Yet, you signed,” 

“I couldn’t not sign,” Luka nuzzled his nose on the curve of her neck, “It came as a surprise to me too, but we knew there was a chance for this to be the final deal,” 

Marinette sighed and turned around to look at him. She put her hands on his neck and brought him closer to press her forehead against his. 

“I know,” She sobbed and her voice and body trembled together. 

“You know if there had been another choice I would have taken it, right?” Luka said, and his eyes started glimmering. 

Marinette nodded as the tears began to fall.

 

**xx**

 

When the sun started to illuminate the east side of her room, she knew it was time to leave the bed, the problem was, she did not want to. 

Luka had left only an hour before but it felt like he had been gone for an eternity. 

She skimmed through the floor with her eyes and localized one of his t-shirts. She let herself fall to the floor and crawled to it to get dressed. 

The t-shirt was black and had the logo she had designed for their band printed on top. Marinette looked at it and sighed defeated. She didn’t want to use it now, because it brought back all the bad feelings, but at the same time, she wanted to be dressed on Luka’s clothes. 

Who knew how many chances she would get to do so now that he was signed under the label?

Marinette looked herself in the mirror and took a sharp breath, ready to start her day. Hopefully, she would see Luka later in the day, but for now, she would have to start getting used to what her life would be from now on. 

But when she arrived at the kitchen, the little plan was destroyed. 

A mug, freshly made pancakes and a small bouquet of purple flowers were waiting for her on the counter. 

There was a note on the fridge with a few lyrics and messy drawn hearts all over it. A little sorry was written right next to Luka’s name. 

Her stomach sank and the tears pricked in her eyes. 

The bell rang and she stopped. 

Marinette dragged herself to open the door. 

She took the knob and pulled the brightest smile she could fake right now. 

To her own luck, she was able to drop it quickly once she saw Adrien standing outside. 

“Adrien? Don’t you have class?” She said and looked behind her, searching for the clock. 

“Luka called, he said you might need me,” He explained and invited himself in. 

“What?” Marinette gasped aghast, “You can’t just miss class because of me. I’ll punch Luka when I get the chance,”

“You’re more important than anything else, Marinette,” He said and cupped her cheek. 

And with that, she broke. 

Her lips quivered, and when she fell the tears approaching again, she hugged him and hid her face on the crook of his neck, or well, as much as she could, since he was so tall. But it didn’t matter, because, between his arms, she was safe and there she would find comfort. 

“Oh, no, princess,” He said and held her tightly. 

Adrien lifted her from the ground and carried her bridal style. He carried her all the way to the living room. 

He sat on the sofa and put her on top of him, without breaking the hug at any moment. 

In this position, she was more comfortable and was able to hold him so tight, that if they were closer they would be fused. 

But it felt right. This way, she wouldn’t shatter, he would keep her together. 

Adrien left a trail of kisses all over her hair, face, and hands. 

He was in silence but his actions were loud enough to work as reassuring words and help her calm down. 

Marinette intertwined her hand with his and rubbed her cheek against his chest as she teared up less and less. 

“Luka is leaving,” Marinette said. 

“He signed?” 

“Yes,”   
“When is he moving?”

“Soon,” Marinette said in a high pitched voice, “Way too soon,” 

“Alright,” Adrien nodded, “We can find tickets and go with him, we’ll help him move and everything. I’ll make it easier,” 

“Adrien, no,” 

“No?” He asked, utterly confused. 

“There were a few changes when he was negotiating the deal… he is not going to the UK anymore. He is moving to New York,”

She felt his whole body going stiff. 

“Oh,”

“Yes, oh,” Marinette giggled sadly. How horrible was to say it out loud. 

“We… we can still go,” Adrien offered, but he knew as well as she that that didn’t fix anything. 

“I actually can’t. I can’t leave my job, I have to much to do. Do you know how awful that is? I can’t leave my job for a week, which means I can’t leave my job to go visit him regularly….” The tears started to stream again. 

Marinette explained the deal as well as she could. 

She told him about the endless nights when they discussed the subject, about the many hours of crying they had while going through their options, and she gave him all the details about yesterday night. How her world had crashed down and how bad she felt that she couldn’t celebrate with Luka. As much as it hurt, this was the best thing that could ever happen to her boyfriend and she wasn’t happy. 

Adrien made her feel less guilty by understanding her position. 

She was really proud of Luka, she knew how much he had worked, how much he sacrificed to have this opportunity but...

“I can’t go with him…” She said, repeating it one more time. 

“You’ll find a way,” Adrien said, again also. He had been saying it for a while now.

“There’s no way,” Marinette whined. 

He squeezed her shoulder, put his fingers under her chin and lifted her. “There’s always a way, you need to be positive and try to come up with something. I know you two can make it work. People do long distance all the time, Nette,”

“We talked about longs distance… we don’t want that. We’re not staying together. We both know what’s best for the other,”

“But--

“The contract won’t allow him to come to visit freely and as I said before, I can’t either. If it was the UK we would have made it work, in the USA is _ impossible _ , Adrien.”

“It is not impossible. There must be a way! ” Adrien said exasperatedly, “You… you two are meant, meant… meant to be,” Adrien said but it seemed like he was choking on his own words. “I see how much he loves you, and how much you love him. This is not the end of your relationship. I promise.” 

“I really wish it could be as easy as believing it,” She said, starting to sob again. 

She put a hand on top of her mouth and snorted. 

Marinette tried to look for the light and looked up. She wasn’t going to cry again, she couldn’t keep doing this. 

It was absurd! She had to face it! She knew this could happen! She should have been ready! She should--

Adrien took her hand and put it down, then he cupped her cheek and leaned to press his lips against her forehead. 

His fingers danced through the tangles of her hair and he started humming a soft lullaby. 

Marinette couldn’t help but cry. 

“Cry all you want, let it all out. I won’t judge you,” Adrien whispered, “I’m here for you, if you need something, ask and I won’t leave until you want to be alone,”

“I don’t want to be alone,” Marinette said, drowning in her own tears. 

“No problem, then I won’t ever leave. After all, you’re my favorite person in the whole wide world,”   
Marinette smiled against his skin, but it was only for a second, then all the sad emotions came back to her. 

She let herself crumble as she held tightly to her safe haven.   
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen, do yall really thought she was going to forgive him so easily? no way. they needed to talk first.  
> oh well, oh well, i wonder how are things going to go down now that luka is gone :(
> 
> i hope you enjoyed!
> 
> find me on tumblr: buginettez.

**Author's Note:**

> this aint a masterpiece or the best fic out there but hey boy do i love the story i gave chat lol  
> my vacations are over so this is a gift for me to me  
> and to all of you if you also enjoyed it yayy!!
> 
>  
> 
> find me on tumblr: buginettez.


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